Love, Matt

One of the only benefits of my mom going through her battle the last few months was that our family had plenty of time to prepare and discuss things like her funeral.  When she told me a few weeks ago she wanted me to speak, on one hand I was honored while on the other I knew I would have a hard time getting through it. So while I am honored to be here today, I’m also a cry baby so you’ll have to bear with me.

My mom and I have always had a great relationship. Regardless of dumb things I’ve said or done growing up, I’ve always felt an unconditional love from her that I’ve tried try to pass on and make a constant with my kids.  I’ve always loved her for that.

One of the unique aspects to our relationship has been our love of sports.   Those of you that know me know I love many different sports, but two of my favorites are Golf and all University of Utah sports.  Both my mom and I attended The University of Utah and love golf, and she had the same passion for these as I do.

I think I first realized her athletic ability when I was in Jr. High.  It was toward the end of summer break and I was out of school.  I was lying around the house one day and didn’t have anyone to play with.  I think my friends were out of town or something.  Anyway, I was really bugging my mom since I had nothing to do.  She kept telling me to “go do something, go outside or go find something to do” I told her there was nothing to do and I was bored etc.  This went on for a while and finally she said, “If you’re just going to sit around, why don’t you go get a job”.  Before I could even think of what I was saying, I replied,” why don’t YOU get a job”.  As soon as I said it and saw her response I knew it wasn’t a very smart thing to say.  She jumped up faster than I had ever seen her move and started calling me a little a (something I can’t say in church). I’d never seen that kind of athletic ability in her.   She grabbed an empty two litter bottle on the kitchen counter and started after me. I was really surprised how fast she could move, I was pretty fast and took off into the garage and outside.  Luckily once I got outside she stopped chasing me and simply told me I couldn’t come home until after I talked to my dad.

She and I loved to talk about and watch golf.  I play golf with my dad all the time, but my mom was the person who signed me up for my first golf lessons when I was young boy and the one who would drop me off and pick me back up from those lessons.  She was a very good golfer herself and loved to play when she could.  From the time I was 8 or so, I always remember Sunday afternoons we would watch professional golf on TV and root for and talk about who our favorite players were or are.   For the last several years, she would invite us over to watch the final round big golf tournaments like the Masters and US Open.

When I was in high school, I saved up my money and bought a brand new very nice sand wedge.  It took me a long time to earn enough money to buy it and I would play around the house with it all the time.  Chipping balls in the back yard, and swing it in our big family room.  The family room had really high ceilings so it was easy to swing a club in there.  One day I was sitting in the family room swinging in back and forth and my mom came in from the other room and saw me.  She didn’t get mad at me, but she said that if I broke anything in the house I was buying her a replacement.  Well, there was a glass top coffee table in the room pretty close to where I was swinging the club and no less than 5 min later, I took a swing and shattered the coffee table.  It was really loud and I knew instantly that she heard it break from upstairs.   I was really worried about my mom’s reaction and the damage I’d done to my wedge; I knew she wasn’t going to be happy when she came into the room.  I was surprised when she waked in and didn’t get very mad.  She looked at me like I wasn’t very smart and simply told me to start saving my money.  Secretly I think she wasn’t too mad because another passion she had was buying new furniture and she knew she now had a good reason to buy a new coffee table   In any event, I saved up and replaced the glass I broke.  It took me a few months but the new glass was just like the old one.  She eventually did by a new coffee table and gave me the glass one I had replaced. I kept it in their basement storage room for a few years and then when I bought my house, it was the first coffee table Michelle and I had and we used it for many years. 

In recent years she would text message me all the time when she heard something about golf or what was going on with Phil Mickleson or any of her other favorite players.  Anything and everything sports she was interested in.

Another sports passion she had was for all University of Utah sports.  She is what I would refer to as a FANATIC when it came to Utah sports.  She would text me when she heard something on the news, sports talk radio, newspaper etc. about a Utah player coach or a recruit, you name it.  She would get so anxious and nervous during games sometimes that she couldn’t watch if it was on TV.  She would record it and then find out if they won or not and go back and watch if they did win.  If they lost she would delete it and never watch it again.  It’s a habit I picked up from her and do myself from time to time.

We went to and watched many, many games together.   We would yell and scream, if there was a referee call that went against the Utes, it was a terrible call according to my mom regardless of the situation.  The last football game I went to her with as the Utah vs. Stanford game this year.  At one point during the game, there was a questionable referee call and the entire crowd started booing.  We all started booing too, and mom immediately stood up and was screaming at the ref.  She was screaming so loud I thought she was going to have a heart attack right there.  I looked at her and said, MOM, you have got to settle down.  The guys behind us told her they loved it and she should keep doing it.  A few weeks ago I told her every time I’m at a game and see someone going nuts in the stands I was going to remember that story and think of her.   

She really loved football, basketball, everything University of Utah.  One real benefit of that for me was the gear.  She was always buying Utah sweat shirts, stickers, license plate covers, you name it.  If it had a Utah logo on it, she was interested.  The benefit for me was often times I would be at work and get a text from her with a picture of a Utah hoody she saw at the store.  She would ask me if I liked it and when I said I did, she would say “ok, come over and pick it up when you can”  I must have about 20 Utah tee shirts and sweatshirts my mom bought for me.   The combination of her love for shopping and Utah sports was a dangerous combination.  

With all of her love for sports, I think the greatest fight I’ve seen in her play was with her recent battle with Cancer.  She fought it with everything she had and it was too powerful in the end.  I’ll always remember the grace and dignity and strength she had in her battle and throughout her life.

I miss and will miss her tremendously but find comfort knowing I’ll see her again someday.  Also knowing that she’ll be right there with me the next time I’m screaming at a football game or watching the Masters.  I love and miss you Mom, forever and always.