Poison

Last night I took my daughter Caroline with me to the hospital to visit Irene.  I knew that Irene's chemo was really bad this week and that she was going to be very tired and sick.  That still did not prepare me to see her going through such suffering.  Just keeping her eyes open and speaking was taking all the strength she had.  Chemo is a poison that is effecting every part of her body. And yet, she is still filling her role of grandmother as she tried to find a show for Caroline to watch and made sure to find her a treat.  Eating these past few weeks has been difficult for her, but she did have a bite of a warm chocolate chip cookie, and was even up for some news about the kids report cards, lessons, and a former Ute player making an appearance on Ellen.  We stayed a very short time and I realized how hard it is to stand helplessly aside and watch someone battle through so much physical pain.  I want to help more, do more.  

I remember many times after I have had surgeries, and babies, that Irene was there for me.  I  vividly recall a time when I sat on my couch nursing my son Thomas while she dusted and cleaned my home.  Another time, she drove me to my Doctor's appointments when my delivery recovery was so slow and guarded my newborn  in his car seat from the germs of strangers. Lastly, I recall a time Irene hired a cab to pick her and me up at my house and drive us to the Utah/BYU football game, as I was recovering from surgery and she didn't want me to have to walk too far.  (The Utes won by the way!) Irene has welcomed me into her family from the beginning with so much love, generosity and acceptance.  I just hate watching her go through this.  But as I shared this with her, we pray for her daily.  Our youngest, Jonathan, says the sweetest little prayers that go something like this, "Dear Heavenly Father, we know Grandma Rene (he says weenie)  has cancer.  Please bless her to get better, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."  Thank you all for praying with us. 

Love
Michelle Barrus