Thomas

Rob and I were able to go spend Friday evening with my mom and dad. And just a quick note, if you are planning a visit dress for 95* weather, it is HOT! As Liza has mentioned there is a great peace in her hospital room. Not long after my mom had first been diagnosed I had a conversation with a doctor at Primary Children's Hospital. The subject of families came up and I told him about my mom being diagnosed with cancer. This doctor does not know my mom but he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me that only very special people were called to fight that battle and that my mother must be an amazing woman. I will never forget that.

The past three days have been really hard. I am trying to take them one day at a time because the future is too overwhelming. My mom gave me another of her writings to share. Oh how I love these!

 

My father, Thomas Anthony Valle,  was 59 years old when his wife, my mom died. Suddenly it was just the two of us. My brother Tom was married & living Southern California. I don't think dad cleaned out her closet or drawers for years. He dated many nice women but he never remarried. I wished he would have but now I get it.
Gary and I have four children, Jennifer born in 1972, Matthew Thomas, born in 1977, Elizabeth (Liza) born in 1975 and Amanda, born on my birthday March 1983. Our four children were his only grandchildren. He was an amazing grandpa. He took our family on summer trips, Sun Valley, Jackson Hole & Colter Bay, St. George & Coronado Beach in San Diego. He worked to create memories for his grandchildren. When the children were older he took each on a individual trip with him. Jennifer went on a cruise, Matt, to Hawaii for a week, Liza's went with grandpa on a church history tour and Amanda went on a cruise.
Tom Valle was an amazing cook!! His family immigrated from Italy so of course we ate pasta. His heritage was Catholic/Italian but dad converted to the LDS church when he met my mom at the U. He was one of nine children. Dad and his sister Rose helped support his mother & sisters after his father left his mother for another woman. He never had wealth but worked hard is whole life and provided for his family.
Dad's spaghetti and meat sauce was unmatched. His cheese rolls with bacon are lore in our family. Grandpa Tom made memories for his grandchildren and they think of him all the time. I think the memories of his driving techniques are the best.
My dads biggest fear was being a burden to us. He was always so independent. He could not bear the thought of having anyone take care of him. When he turned 89 years old he was diagnosed with Non_Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He asked the doctor to keep in comfortable and let him go. My brother Tom and I were not good with that!! We took him to Huntsman Cancer Institute and they said his cancer could be treated but he was adamant that he had had a good life & was ready to "go". Tom took fantastic care of him for four months. I helped, but nothing compared to Tom. He died at home August 8, 1999.

I was terrified of getting cancer when I was a young mother. What mother isn't if they think about it and I thought about it all the time! I thought about all the things my mom had missed dying so young. I grieved that my kids did not have a grandmother who thought the world revolved around them, that each of them was the greatest child ever. I knew my mother would have been a loving involved grandma. Because worrying is so productive, I wasted way too much time on something I could not change or have any control over. As our children grew I started praying that I would live to be a grandma. I wanted to be the grandmother I knew my mom would have been. As the years flashed by and I was still here, I could imagine the possibility that I would have grandchildren. My sincere prayers have been answered. Fourteen of the most amazing souls have blessed our families lives. What joy they are. Alexandra 17, Hailey 16, and Jacob 13, belong to Jennifer Nielsen.   Matt & Michelle Barrus have Thomas 9, Caroline 7 and Jonathan who is almost 5. Liza & David Bridge are parents to Grace 12, Hannah 9, Oliver 8, Emmaline 5 and Charlotte 2.  Amanda and Rob Robinson round out the family with Ellie 6, Annabelle 3 and Henry who is 8 months!  These are the loves of our lives!! I feel my prayers have been answered, that I have lived my greatest dream of knowing & loving these angels! Gary is a fantastic grandpa who tends, changes diapers, picks up from school and leads fishing expeditions. Life has been very good. Gary worked very hard his whole life and has made it possible for us to provide many memory making opportunities for our family. From St. George to Deer Valley, Sun Valley, Jackson hole, Disneyland & the beach we have experienced it together as a family. Hopefully there will be more to come. But no matter what happens to me, I have lived my dream and thank my Father in Heaven for that!

Of course I would get cancer! Unfortunately that seems to be what we get. I am grateful my cancer is treatable. I feel blessed to have amazing doctors who've  dedicate their genius to the treatment of leukemia and lymphomas. I pray I respond well and that remission is achievable. I also know that I am in God's hands!  I have felt the prayers and faith of so many family & friends it really is humbling and unbelievable.

Our children set up a schedule where they come to the hospital one night a week. Gary & I have loved this time with them. So, as much as cancer "sucks", we have seen many tender mercies from our Heavenly Father.